Friday, December 31, 2010
Start Again @ 12/31/2010 07:03:00 PM
As the new years looms, I find myself again overwhelmed by the challenges faced in this new phase. This year has been difficult, I'm not going to lie. I've had to cope with the harsh reality that life after high school is different. It's difficult and people change and you never see some of them again and it can suck. I've been hurt by the one person I trusted never to hurt me, and I doubt that our relationship will ever recover. I've been challenged over and over again with the fact that I am apparently horribly antisocial and the reason my social circle is so small is because I don't attend enough parties. Well to that theory I say a very loving "piss off". I happen to have some amazing people within my life, and just because I choose not to socialise with them all at the same moment does not diminish their importance to me. I still do in fact see some people from high school quite regularly, and for that I am eternally grateful. I have friends from other facets of my life, such as various churches I've attended or family friends. They have been some of the biggest influences in my life and still are, I'd be nothing without them. I've also been blessed to have met some amazing souls at university. They are all phenomenal in their own right, but one in particular has been so encouraging and inspirational, she has helped keep me writing.
But the people who have been such a blessing on my life, who at times have held me together, are those who I never expected. I don't expect anybody to understand or be able to relate to this experience, but through tumblr I have met the most amazing humans from across the globe. I feel so blessed to be able to go to these individuals for support, they have at times held me together.
So as I enter the new year, I'm going to march on forwards and not let anyone stop me. I'm not going to make pathetic resolutions that I know I won't keep. I'm going to live my life and I'll be damned if I let anyone pull me down. I may not be the most social, but it is going to be year, just watch me.
Until next year fellow humans....
Saturday, December 25, 2010
A Magical Time @ 12/25/2010 11:14:00 PM
Christmas means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. It's celebrated across the globe through countless traditions by a range of cultures. Some celebrate the birth of a saviour, others take advantage of the material treasures they receive. Universally, Christmas seems to be a time for individuals to reflect on their lives. They remember the happy times and reflect on those difficult ones. Family and friends always come into focus as love is expressed not only through the giving of presents, but also by carefully chosen words and strategic physical manoeuvres. Many of us reflect on those who are battling demons and hardships as the selfless nature of humans is expressed. I for one feel that all of the aforementioned characteristics are what make Christmas truly what is. But there is one more element that I have always felt binds it together. The thread that holds this entire extravagance together is magic.
I'm not referring to enchanted woods and fairies and wizards when I say magic. I mean the belief that the world truly is a beautiful, magical place. I don't believe that unicorns exist, but at the same time I do. What do I have to lose by, in the back of my mind, hoping that there is indeed an undiscovered breed hiding deep with a rainforest? I'm not naive, I don't sit in my room waiting for my Hogwarts letter, test my wardrobe for Narnia or climb a tree looking to meet Moonface. But I think that this world is a magical place.
Venture into the city this time of year and stand in front of the David Jones windows. Watch the lighting of the Martin Place Christmas Tree. Watch Carols by Candlelight as an entire nation sings Living on a Prayer along with a girl who is vision impaired. The look on a small child's face as they open that present and it's exactly what they wanted is magical. Holding a parcel in your hands and discovering it's the most thoughtful gift from someone who has taken the time to get to know you feels magical. Laughing in a room full of those you love until you can barely breathe is one of the most magical moments that life can give you.
So on this day of love and peace and hope and salvation, I challenge you to live life magically. Don't be afraid to hope for the near impossible. Secretly believe that fairies live in your garden and that the rainforests of Brazil are home to a family of unicorns. This world is far too beautiful and enchanted for it not to be appreciated in that way. You have to believe in the magic of this world, or you'll never see it. So I say, throw caution to the wind. Allow yourself to every now and then check that Narnia hasn't appeared. Climb that tree until you're hanging on my a branch and still think that the Faraway Tree will be back soon. Know that saying expecto patronum to yourself really will make your fears disappear and that chocolate can heal most calamities. When it all seems like too much, take comfort in the fact that you know this world to be a truly magical place.
Until next time fellow humans....
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Compliments @ 12/21/2010 06:23:00 PM
I love receiving compliments, but who doesn't? There are compliments that you receive that make you feel happy, that make you smile, or that can completely brighten your day. Sometimes hearing from a close friend or family member that you're a great person is lovely, but sometimes it can fall on deaf years. Whereas being told by someone relatively unfamiliar or that 'special someone' that you're great can make you feel like you can fly. People are great, and they can be truly lovely. I love my friends and family and I truly do cherish all of the completely awe-inspiring things that I've heard from them over the years. But to hear from a complete stranger that the way you dress is fantastic and they wish they looked liked you, somehow that can sometimes mean so much more.
It is often said that to be trusted by someone is a far greater compliment than to be loved by them. I've often struggled with this idea and have changed my mind on it countless times. In my definition of love, trust and love are one and the same. They exist together, you can't separate them. Now I know that we are supposed to 'love everyone', but that's not what I'm talking about. I have friends who are lovely people, and I have a great time with them, but I can't trust them. I still love them in that dull platonic way, but there is no deeper connection there. The relationship is shallow, it's a rock pool friendship. But when you trust someone and you just know that they have your back, that they'll catch you, you can't help but love them. All of a sudden this relationship has dived below the surface. It still may be platonic, but it's more than that. Which is why, if I trust someone, it's really a testament as to how much I love them. I don't trust people easily, but some people really make it worth it.
For me, the compliments that really get my heart racing and put a smile on my face, are those about my writing or my blog. You see, when I write, I am more honest than I ever am in a conversation. Words form so easily in my head and flow out of my fingers. But most of the time the words get lost in translation between my brain and mouth and I end up talking complete nonsense. So when someone tells me how much they enjoy what I write, what it really means to me, is that they really like the real me. They like who I am when I'm not hiding behind smoke and mirrors. They like the way I work, the way my mind ticks. It means more to me than anyone could ever possibly know. This brings me to that fantastic Wordsworth quote; '
fill your paper with the breathings of your heart'. I hope that I'm able to successfully achieve this, that I'm able to do something with this somewhat bizarre talent.
Until next time fellow humans....
Monday, December 20, 2010
Unexplainable Absence @ 12/20/2010 06:37:00 PM
Alas, I find myself in that awkward position yet again of having to justify why I haven't written in over a month. This time, I have no valid reason. I've simply been doing other things and procrastinating, saying to myself "I'll do one tomorrow". It's silly that I've felt like writing is a chore, because writing is the one thing that truly makes me feel alive and good about myself. So my logic is, why write if I don't want to? But that logic is flawed because once I start, I find it difficult to stop. It was Ernest Hemingway who once said (and this is a favourite quote of mine), "
There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." That quote is painfully and beautifully true. William Wordsworth also had an amazing quote, "
fill your paper with the breathings of your heart". I think I may need to permanently tattoo these quotes onto my person for motivation when I feel like an illiterate dunce.
The one thing that I have been wanting to write about, especially lately, is the impact that the world of Harry Potter has had on my life. There aren't many people in my physical life who understand me when I say that it changed my life. Most of them look at me like my nose has all of a sudden turned into a snout, or my head has fallen off. And while I don't feel like I need to justify my love of anything in my life, I would like to try my hand at putting into words just how important this book series has become to me. Initially I toyed with the idea of writing one long post and trying to cram everything into it. But then I had a stroke of brilliance in the early hours of Monday morning. Come January, I will do yet another 30 day challenge, except Harry Potter themed. That way, I will be free to discuss a range of topics without having to condense any information. I hope that this will give you somewhat of an insight into one of the most important areas of my life.
Until next time fellow humans....
