Do I like being cynical? Of course not. Do I enjoy holding grudges long after I should, and long after I've said the wound is healed? Definitely not. I bottle up my anger too much, way too much and far too often. I used to take my anger and frustration out physically on myself because I had no idea how to channel it healthily. In all honesty, I'm constantly having to remind myself of the healthy way to do this. I'm not saying that I still hurt myself, but sometimes it is all too tempting to punch a wall or throw and slam things. But I don't do it because it won't help anything. So what is the proper way to deal with my overload of emotions? I vowed to always try my hardest not to take them out on others. Do I post emotionally charged blogs and let my feelings out? Do I talk to others about my issues? The latter is a possibility, except that means I'd constantly be unloading my shit onto them. Though there are those people who will always give me faith in the world, and no matter how bad my day was, if I see them then nothing else matters. I guess I'm still learning and growing, and I think this will be a continual struggle for me. I don't think we can ever fully recover from or outgrow our problems or addictions, I just think we learn to cope and handle them better.
Until next time fellow humans....
