Day 7 - Your ex love/crushDear Ex love/crush
I'm not entirely sure what I'm meant to say to you, or what I want to say to you. We were never really friends, so I know that we never had a friendship to fall back on after it all failed. And in all honesty, I'm actually really glad that it didn't work out between us. The more I reminisce, the more I see that it never would have worked. You're a good guy, and I'm sure that you'll be the right guy for some other girl, and I know that I'm not that girl. What you had to offer is not what I was/am looking for and is not what I need(ed). I don't blame you for that, perhaps I did at the time, but now I'm ok.
I was hurt and angry and sad about everything that happened between us, but not any more. Sometimes I still wish that everything had ended on a cleaner page and with not as many loose ends, but I no longer hate you. I'm happy in my life right now, I don't want to date you, I don't even particularly want to be friends with you. But I do want you to know that I was indeed hurt, and you made me feel things that I never wanted to feel. You made me feel worthless and pathetic and disposable, especially when you told me that I was worth fighting for; obviously I wasn't. You made me cry, about 5 times, and not just slightly. You made me a mess, a hurting mess. Part of me regrets that, I wish that people hadn't seen that side of me, it was mortifying. But I also think that it's something that every person needs to experience.
I wish you well in life, I really hope that life treats you well. Know that I don't hate you and I don't hold any grudges against you. I no longer dread accidentally crossing your path, because I have no reason to. I've moved on from what happened between us, I know that we will both have happy lives, but not together. I don't hate you, I'm bigger than that. I am happy, please know that, and I hope you are too.
Sincerely, Eleanor
Until next time fellow humans....
