Have you ever thought to yourself, "shit, my subconscious must REALLY hate me!"? I have thought that on multiple occasions over the last 6 months or so. Have you ever had a dream that was seemingly normal until you wake up and realise that you were making out with your best friend's uncle (that was just an example, I don't know my best friend's uncle and I swear that's never happened haha). But I think you get what I'm trying to say. I had a dream once, towards the end of last year, where there was an incident that involved someone I know. Now this person I would probably call a friend, but we are certainly not close by any means. So to have this dream about them seemed perfectly normal at the time (but trust me when I say in reality it is TOTALLY unacceptable), but as I lay in bed and thought about the dream I'd just had, I was quite horrified to say the least.
Then last night, I had another dream that involved some people I attend university with. These people ranged from those whom I would refer to as my close friends, to those I talk to in class or on the bus, to those I smile at in passing and then those whom I have a class with but couldn't tell you their name. So in this dream, a lot of shit happened that I don't remember, or can only vaguely recall, but I do remember it was rather bizarre. There was a person in this dream (whom I know in real life) that I was flirting with and interested in dating. And the more that I think back to the dream, the more that I'm inclined to think that I knew it was them, but their physical form and such was rather fuzzy and unclear. But then as the dream reached the final scenes and I walked away with my lover, their form became clear, and whilst I'd thought it was a certain person (whom I was interested in), it was their personality (sort of) in the body of someone else (whom I had classes with but didn't know).
So I was really pissed off at myself for the majority of today for what had happened in my dream. How could I have seemingly dreamt about one person whom I'm rather fond of, and then realised it was actually someone completely different who I don't particularly like. Does my subconscious actually despise me? But then I saw this person today and of course couldn't help but think back to my dream, but I saw them differently. They were no longer the weird slightly freaky individual that I had always thought of them as. They looked completely different. Overnight they had morphed and it scared me to say the least. Was it one of those "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" moments? Because they were becoming rather "beautiful". If someone had questioned me on them last week I would have laughed at them for their bad taste. But now I'm confused.
So can our subconsciousness open our eyes to what we really want? Was I blinded by my own irrational judgements? Did I already have these opinions but was just too stubborn to acknowledge them? Needless to say, my subconscious and I have an interesting relationship.
Until next time fellow humans....
